you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
