home. puking in laundry basket.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she peed on how many people?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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