hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
