when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
