I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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