Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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