Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Those nachos came to me in a dream
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
