Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
