so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
