im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
