He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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