Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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