Can Purell be used as lube?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
