im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
