He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
