she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
