Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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