Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
