oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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