Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
