I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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