have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
