wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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