Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
