If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
