I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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