So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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