I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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