Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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