She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
