ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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