he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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