she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
