I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
