He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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