I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
