Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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