somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
pray to the hookup gods
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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