Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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