I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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