They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
