i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
