Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
