erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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