Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize