ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
