is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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