You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
