I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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