I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
