My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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