Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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