shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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