i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
