You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i think my cat just said my name.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
