return my video game
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize