A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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