Your dad touched me again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
