It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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