The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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