i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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